my name is eli. i’m a writer and creative director, and a taurus rising. my debut satirical essay collection this won’t help hit shelves in bookstores across the country this past fall. it is still on those shelves. i’m a longtime contributor to the new yorker and mcsweeney’s internet tendency, and i’ve authored some of their most-read humor pieces. i also spent a few years as a staff writer for the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. as a creative director, i’ve written and produced campaigns for the likes of amtrak downeaster, arcadia, brookfield renewable u.s., maine spirits, and many more.